Frostiron shenanigans
by Doctor Maz
Summary: Ehehehehe! Loki and Tony are engaged. They pull pranks on the other Avengers. A spin-off of my other Fanfiction, 'I'll keep you my Dirty little secret.' Hopefully, it's even just a little funny... unless it's just my sense of humor. Enjoy
1. Bruce

**So, I have a fanfic called 'A dirty little secret'. It's a Frostiron**

**And in it, Tony and Loki decide to prank the avengers. I only skimmed it in that, but I promised I'd write some out here. Blame awakened-earth. She made me do it.**

**You dont have to have read that to get this, just know that Tony and Loki are together (I think at this point they are engaged i fact) And everyone knows except for the outside world. So just the Avengers and the house of Odin.**

**Enjoy.**

* * *

**Story 1: The tale of Bruce and the mysterious missing socks.**

**By Doctor Maz**

Loki could have used magic, but it was more fun this way.  
Tony led the way as they creeped along the corridor and up to Bruce's door. Tony opened it with his keycard and they stepped in side.  
"Jarvis said he's down in the lab. He won't be back up for a while." Tony whispered. They had no idea why they were being so quiet, the lab was soundproofed both ways.  
Loki opened Bruce's sock draw and smiled at Tony. The simplest pranks were always the best. Loki conjured a bag and held it open for Tony. Tony was careful to take one of every single pair and put it in the bag which Loki then made disappear. Not a single sock left in the draw had a pair.

It wasn't the funniest thing in the world, but once Tony and Loki made it back to their room, they erupted into fits of laughter, Tony barely managing to instruct Jarvis to move the security footage to his private server and to erase it from the others. Bruce wouldnt know a thing.

The next morning had Bruce in Tony's room, staring down on two naked bodies.  
Tony had his back against the headboard and loki sat beside him. Tony had one arm around Loki and Loki had one hand on Tony's chest. There was a sheet over their laps, and that was all that separated their nakedness from Bruce. They didn't seem bothered and the pair looked up at Bruce expectantly.  
Bruce was fidgeting. They put him on edge, and that made Loki smile.  
"I know it was you. I'm not an oblivious_ idiot_."  
"Did what?" Loki asked in his best innocent voice with mock surprise.  
"Dont you give me that, I know you took my socks and I expect them all back." was that Bruce... Blushing? Surely not.  
Loki raised him eyebrows. "I will be sure to inform you if I see any around."  
And as Bruce left, you could just about see one red one navy sock on his feet.

"Babe?" Tony asked, thoughtfully. Loki looked up at him.  
"Yes?"  
"When you made that bag dissapear, where did the socks actually go?"  
Loki smiled. "In various places.."  
Loki's cryptic answer raised suspicion with Tony, he knew this god too well.  
That was when they heard the shriek. Only Tony jumped. It was pepper.  
_"WHY IS THERE A SOCK... IN THE COFFEE POT?"_  
Tony sighed and leant in to kiss the god in his arms. "I love you, but you scare me sometimes." he chuckled, before being pulled back under the covers by a 'hungry' god of mischief.

* * *

**Updates will be irregular, sorry.**


	2. Clint

**Story 2: In Which Clint falls**

**By Doctor Maz**

"ArGh' I am _so_ off my game today." Clint shouted, throwing down his bow and storming out of the range.  
It didn't take much, just to alter the weight balance of an arrow, make it go to the side a bit. Clint wouldn't question it, not when Tony made it. For the past week, every time Clint saw Steve less than ten minutes before practise, they would swap his arrows. That wasn't all though. SHIELD of course had tracker on him, unknown to anyone but Tony of course. It was not hard to was Jarvis give it a spark, send an electric shock, a tingle through Clint every time Steve touched him. Usually a pat on the shoulder, a clap of the wrists, a high five, fingers brushing at the pass of a remote. They were making Clint THINK things, messing with his head.  
There was one other think, courtesy of Loki. Whenever they were close or they touched, or they were just in a room alone together, Loki had the power to rush blood to a certain body part, make it come up and say hello. This did the job.  
Clint was beginning to think he was gay, and lusted for the touch of the ninety year old virgin with innocence radiating from his every pore.  
The flushes of red on clint's cheeks when Steve neared him were enough to satisfy Tony and Loki's mischief, but when Clint started leaning in to steve's touches, seeking them out more frequently, stealing glances at him and stopped trying to bed Agent Romanoff...  
Tony convinced Loki it was time to stop.

* * *

"Loki, I'm starting to think that one was really mean. And it's not as funny as some of the others have been."  
"Agreed. The old ones, the simple ones. Those are the very best."  
"And do you have any suggestions?"  
Loki gave his most mischievous grin. "you're next Tony Stark."  
Tony raised an eyebrow and smirked at the god before pulling him closer beside him beneath the sheets.  
"I'm counting on it."

* * *

Instead of an A/N at the end, I'm going to have Tony and Loki reflecting on the day. K, bye


	3. Steve

"THOR!" It was rare for Steve to ever raise his voice, there was either danger or he was seriously pissed. "THOR!"

Steve entered the kitchen where Tony and Loki sat at the breakfast bar, drinking their respective morning beverages. Steve held a sheet of beautiful red fabric in his right hand and a pink short-sleeved shirt in the other.

Loki and Tony looked up at him in bewilderment. Well, it seemed as such, until Tony noticed a smirk playing on the edge of Loki's lips. "THOR!" Loki went back to his tea and Tony to his coffee, each using the mugs to mask their grins. "THOR!"

"FRIEND!" Thor bellowed, as loud as Steve despite his recent teachings of 'indoor voices' courtesy of Tony.

"It says 'wash with like colours.' Red and white are not 'like colours' Thor."

"I agree friend. But now tell me, why are you in possession of my cape?"

"URGH!" and Steve left.

It was unusual for Steve to lose his temper, but it was also comical. He stamped his foot and everything.

"Loki, do you know why my cape is wet?" When Loki didn't respond, Thor left with a large box of poptarts under his arm.

"Loki."

"I'm insufferable?"

"Yes."

"People in glass houses..."

"The phrases you pick up frighten me."

"I am a fast learner. And I think that's the point Tony. I am the villain remember."

"That you are. Or so you keep saying."

"I almost enslaved mankind remember."

"Almost being the operative word."

"I could have done it if I had really tried. You know it wasn't my main goal."

"You'd never have been able to do it anyway."

"oh really?"

"yeah, there's your weakness to think about."

"oh a weakness, and what ever could that be?"

"You don't want to destroy something you like, you want to rule it. See, that's not the way we earthlings work."

"you think I found Midgard beautiful?"

"you are the god of chaos."

"that I am."

There was a comfortable silence as they reached the bottom of their mugs, Tony pretending he didnt just wink at the reflection he found at the bottom of his.

And that's when Steve walked back in.

He wore his military boots, khaki pants, and then, to top it all off and to make Tony's day, was a tight pink T-shirt.

"All of my shirts were in that wash." Steve cursed as he went to get some milk from the fridge.

At that moment, Tony felt glad of two things: 1) Steve thought it indecent to walk around bare chested with women in the house, and 2) He had installed a security camera in the kitchen.

* * *

"You really shouldn't pick on Steve, he's got some immense jetlag."

"Nawww, but it's just so fun. And it is in my nature, you want me to be myself do you not? Or is that not good enough?" Loki raised an eyebrow in challenge.

"Well, a slightly less mocking loki wouldn't go a miss." Loki punched Tony's arm playfully and pouted. "You got that pout from me you know. I am a good teacher."

"You are a bad influence." Tony pouted and pulled Loki closer. Loki rested his head on Tony's chest beside the arc reactor, moving his fingers around and playing with the light. Tony pulled the covers up to Loki's shoulder.

"Jarvis, lights." The lights dimmed and Loki's eyes flickered shut. "You still love me though right?"

Tony felt Loki smile against his chest. "Go to sleep Tony." Tony's eyes shut and before long, Loki could feel the rising of his chest slow. Loki used the metronomic beating of the man's heart to guide him into an easy, peaceful sleep.

* * *

**Your views? I never said this was going to be regular...**


	4. Clint 2

Okay, so maybe it might be unfair to pick on Clint twice, but when a prank came to Loki, he had to oblige.

It was all too simple to stick the feathers to Clint's suit, especially with the hell of Tony and some magic. The tricky part came in the previous stage. Getting clint's suit. He could have used magic to find it, but he would not be able to return it if he didn't know where to. This had Tony staking out by the security cameras, checking where Clint kept it.

Ah, in the wardrobe. Why had they not thought of that? Uh... Because Clint was a secret assassin-ninja-spy? And it was probably booby trapped.

A stolen suit and some arts and crafts later, and the prank was almost ready to go. So the hawk would now have bork plumage. But surely he would notice and not put it on? Wrong! Loki was a sorcerer remember?

So the feathers would be made invisible to Clint, but to no one else. The media would have quite the field day.

As it turned out, so did Natasha and her camera. Actually, everyone but Steve and Fury seemed unable to see the funny side of it. Something about damaging morale and team trust. Then about treating the job seriously. Spoiled-sports.

The best thing about this prank though, was that Clint didn't know a thing. Even Steve and Fury didn't mention it.

* * *

"Lo, did I tell you I love you?"

"Yes."

"Well I love you more now. That was brilliant."

"You mean 'is' Stark. Present tense.

And had I known it was so easy to increase your affections, I would have done so earlier."

"Next time, give Clint a break though. What about Nat?"

"Even I am not brave enough for that."

"Coward are we?"

"Hush Stark, I know she scares you more."

"Granted."

"And yes Tony, I love you too."

"You'd better." Tony smirked, rearranging his limbs so as to straddle Loki. His grin widened. "You'd better."

* * *

**Okay, so I am aware this was less funny, but I'm running a little low on ideas guys. Any help?**


	5. Nick

Director Fury - **THE PATCH**

* * *

"Why do the pirates of midga- Earth" Loki corrected, "always seem to be drawn stereotyped with eye patches?"

"I d'no cause they always get their eyes stabbed out?" Tony looked up from his work, a piece of circuit board that would completely change the world of digital toasters.

"On Asgard, it is seen as an honour to have lost body parts in war."

"Oh, well war is still an honour and stuff, we just make fun of Fury. Well, I was actually pretty sure he had a cyborg eye under there, but I've done some tests, well Jarvis has, and no, nadda. I am actually strangely disappointed."

"I see. Tony darling?"

"Hmmm?"

"How mischievous are you feeling?"

"Mischievous enough to connect Jarvis to this toaster and make it burn their toast if and when they annoy me. But I'm guessing you're thinking more mischievous than that."

"They don't call you a genius for nothing dear."  
-PAGEBREAK-

'Yo ho, yo ho, a pirates life for me..'

"HILL?!"

"Yes sir."

"Get Stark on the phone. Every time I walk on the brig THIS starts playing." He gestured to the ceiling and around him."

"He's on the line sir."

"STARK!"

"Yes dear?"

"STARK WHATEVER YOU AND THAT PSYCHOTIC HUSBAND OF YOURS HAVE DONE, FIX IT! OR I'LL FIX THAT PRETTY LITTLE FACE OF YOURS."

"What ever do you mean? I have no idea what you're talking about. Loki? Loki? Do you know what he's talking about?"  
"Of course not. What's happened?"  
"No, he doesn't know either."

"STARK!"

'Do what you want, 'cause a pirate is free, YOU ARE A PIRATE!'

Two pairs of giggles could be heard down the line.  
"STARK. FIX IT MOTHERFUCKER!"  
The (very manly) giggles grew louder.

-PAGEBREAK-

"Tony."

"Yes."

"Playback the footage."

* * *

**So, apologies it took so long, but I only really write this when I'm bored of my other , it's not something where you have to particuarly need to remember the rest, it's a side-story after all.**

**Also, just to remind everyone, i have been posting the sequel to 'dirty little secret', just look for it in my stories list.**

**I am also just about to post a one-shot which is in the same series. It's about Loki's birthday. You don't need to have read any of the other stories to get it, but it fits. **

**I think I'm gonna call it 'Well, we weren't hatched,' Basically, they go paintballing.**

**Also, I went to the London McM expo on saturday in my ever-awesome Loki costume. PEOPLE KNEELED! The people on the tube kept giving us funny looks... It was awesome. I stroked a selnder man, bro fisted a deadpool and high fived a tardis. IT WAS AWESOME!**

Anyway, This is DOCTOR maZ, OvER and OUT.


	6. Tony

**I also out this up as a one-shot as the result in a conversation with NinjacookieXD, so if you've read that, this is the same, but with an extra little bit at the end. Lobe you all. **

**Does the word 'lobe' tickle you? it tickles me.**

**"Hey man, stop fondling my lobe!" (ear) **

**Also, ****Ninja CookieXD has also wriiten a version which is called 'Mustanrd or Honey?' Which is really awesome, and it's longer than this, so try to read that too. **(Do i say also too much, not just now but as a general thing?)  


* * *

Just imagine... a six foot three Norse God of Mischief standing, legs at hips width apart, completely nude save for Sceptre, long green cape and helmet. From head to toe dipped in thick, glossy, golden syrup, thick drips glistening down his everywhere.

These are the thoughts that occupied Tony's mind as he sat through an 'extremely interesting' board meeting that Pepper had forced him to go to with threats of burning his '58 Mustang.

His hand propped his head upright as he dreamed. His jaw was dropped open and a faint trickle of drool threaded to escape the clutches of his open mouth. His eyes were semi shut and just as the person speaking was about to end his speech, Tony let out a long, lusty moan.

He didn't notice the looks the members of the board gave him as his mind continued on oblivious.

In his mind, Loki's cape was flowing back, and his head tilted down into a wide, predatory grin. Tony let out another long groan. The Loki stretched his hand forward, grabbing Tony's tie and pulling them together. The Loki lowered his head to whisper in Tony's ear. His voice was sultry and thick with lust.  
"Tony, I warned you."  
This time, Tony's moan was loud enough to warrant a shriek from Pepper that would wake him from his dream.

"Ah, oh uh. Shit. Um. Yes, that was just such a great concept you just presented, I um, couldn't control my delight. I am actually very busy right now aren't I Pepper? Yes, I have that thing. Iron man, Superhero business stuff, y'know. Cause I'm a superhero, and I save the world and stuff."  
Pepper nodded and opened the door for him, ushering him to leave.  
"Yeah, so I'm just gonna go save the world and shit so..."

* * *

In a room in a lower level of the tower, the security room, three guards were tied up and gagged. On the main chair in the centre of the room, facing the screens and with his back to the guards, was a Norse god, chuckling quietly to himself.

* * *

"Loki, do you have any idea how embarassing that was?"

"Yes dear"

"That was a new level of EVil."

"Thanks love."

"Like SHIELD top 5 worthy. In front of the board members, they hate me enough as it is. That was really mean Loki."

"Go to sleep now love."

"Loki?"

"MmmHmmm?"

"I love you."

"Go to sleep Tony." Loki planted a silent kiss on Tony's temple before resting his bead on his lovers head.


End file.
